true colors

life has a funny way sometimes.
…of helping us put things in perspective or helping us to finally reach a place of peace and contentment…
it’s an amazing, beautiful thing when it happens.  especially when you recognize such a thing.

allow me to explain.
i’m not sure if it’s because i turned 30 in february or what, but this past year has been a time of reflection and decision-making…
who am i?  where do i see myself in 5 years?  i’m in a new relationship with a great guy…where do i see it going?  am i ready?  what kind of people do i want to surround myself with?  who are my real friends?  how can i be a better mother?  daughter?  friend?  how can i express myself creatively and what does paige want out of life?

deep, huh?

 in a time of insecurity and trying to make sense of things…blogging has really helped me, albeit slowly, answer many of those questions.  it may sound strange, but it’s true!
i think most of us (bloggers) have questioned why we keep these “virtual diaries”…what are we looking for?  validation?  like-minded people?  an escape from every day life?  a creative outlet?  and then the question becomes…am i making my blog about me or am i conforming to what other bloggers are doing?  is it my true voice?  am i speaking from the heart or am i putting up a front?  do people even care?
hanging out with christina this weekend helped put a lot of personal questions (about life and why i blog) in perspective, as we talked at great length about life, blogging, why we do it, blog friendships vs real life friendships, etc etc…(i’m not going to share all the details with you; however, just know that I now know why i blog, why i share with anyone who cares to listen, and what it means for ME…and that’s all that matters!)

it’s so crazy how quickly and effortlessly christina and i clicked.  it’s almost as if we were meant to be friends…soulmates, even!  i’m a firm believer in fate and “everything happens for a reason”, so maybe something bigger is at work here.

maybe we were best friends in another life, or sisters, or (gasp!) lovers!  or on the flip side…maybe we were fierce enemies in a prior life and in this life, our lesson is to trust and respect each other.  kinda fun to think about, eh?

nothing about my trip to visit christina and her family was awkward or uncomfortable.  one evening, i did the dishes and cleaned up after dinner while she edited photos and her hubs sat on the couch, reading.  it felt so natural…like we’d all been friends for years. 

i had to ask myself…if i can connect this easily with strangers, why am i not connecting this deeply with the people who are currently in my life?  is it simply that we’re not destined to have a strong bond, maybe our personalities don’t mesh deeper than birthday parties and the occasional night out, or is it me?  hmmmmmm…  this visit allowed me to take a good look at my “real-time” friendships.  i decided that i’m ready to let go of any insecurities or grudges i’ve held over the last year or so (i’ll spare you the deets)…and move forward!  enjoy those people, let my walls down!  …and more importantly…to never apologize for who i am.  this weekend, with christina, i was able to be myself…no drama, no judging, no false pretenses, no walls… 

…i showed my true colors and i gained a good friend…someone i will be friends with for years to come. 

thanks for reading!

xo

paige

i am wearing…
floral tank baby doll dress – thrifted
red obi belt – courtesy of christina
eagle cuff – thrifted
skinnies – local boutique
sandals – local boutique

*photos by christina* 

 

    

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9 thoughts on “true colors

  1. um hello your hair looks radiant in these photos!!! love the colors in your dress too. you look gorgeous. maybe nevada is your true home :) isn’t that so awesome that you guys could connect like that? sometimes it’s so amazing to be able to bounce ideas and thoughts off of a person who understands and ‘gets’ you. sounds like a fabulous weekend.

  2. Hi there! Jaimee (Crabtastic) turned me on to your blog–in particular this entry because I have blogged about similar things recently AND we have talked about things along this line as well. I so appreciate your honesty and also your decision to know why you blog and forge on regardless of what anyone else thinks!

  3. First off you look magnificent in these photos. Radiant in fact. I’m so happy you had such a fulfilling and eye opening weekend with the lovely Christina. I only met her in person briefly during fashion week, but we’ve corresponded for awhile now and I’m hard pressed to name a more real and honest person. Reading both her’s and now your post about evaluating real life relationships in comparison with the ones made through blogging has definitely brought a wake up call to me. I feel like a lot of my ‘real’ friends have settled into the mid 20’s life, ie: a steady significant other, full time jobs, starting families.. And making time for friends seems to end up on the back burner. Whereas I’ve got a whole ‘nother world of people with like minds who are constantly sharing things about their lives, establishing a sense of connection between them and me. However.. I think it’s become easier and easier to not make the effort as far as real friends are concerned, because I HAVE created a few sincere relationships online. While I do appreciate, and hope to further these friendships, it also makes me realize how important having that core group of people I can physically turn to is.

    In a perfect world, I could just scoop you and Christina and a few others up, and lock you in my apt to have on hand all the time. ;)

  4. I actually clicked over here from Second Skin after reading her post about your visit, and I’m so glad that I did. I really enjoyed reading this post, I’ve started blogging recently and often find myself trying to explain what it is that I’m doing (and why) to well-mean, yet utterly confused friends/family/co-workers who just don’t get what i get out of my blogging. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who sometimes out of step with the people in my life.

    PS you look adorable, this dress does wonderful things for your hair color!

  5. I completely know what you’re talking about. I feel myself drifting further away from the immediate “friends” in my life. I think it might have something to with the fact that we think we’re supposed to be friends with these people because we either have been our whole lives, or because we were lumped together with a certain group. The fact is that we are always changing and shifting and learning new things about ourselves. I never thought in a million years that I’d be blogging and I’m enjoying it so much. Sometimes friendships just get stale and it’s nice to try new things. I’m glad that you were able to find someone you connected with so well! Blogging can be really surprising sometimes.
    http://www.morganandlua.blogspot.com

  6. thanks for your honesty and sharing! i think we all reach a point (or several various points) in our lives when we have to ask some hard questions and kind of “check in” with ourselves to be sure we’re on track.

    good luck!!! :D

  7. I know I called and told you how I feel about this post and what your time with me meant to me, but I just wanted to say again, I feel so lucky to have met you and feel as though we were always supposed to.

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