life has a funny way sometimes.
…of helping us put things in perspective or helping us to finally reach a place of peace and contentment…
it’s an amazing, beautiful thing when it happens. especially when you recognize such a thing.
allow me to explain.
i’m not sure if it’s because i turned 30 in february or what, but this past year has been a time of reflection and decision-making…
who am i? where do i see myself in 5 years? i’m in a new relationship with a great guy…where do i see it going? am i ready? what kind of people do i want to surround myself with? who are my real friends? how can i be a better mother? daughter? friend? how can i express myself creatively and what does paige want out of life?
in a time of insecurity and trying to make sense of things…blogging has really helped me, albeit slowly, answer many of those questions. it may sound strange, but it’s true!
i think most of us (bloggers) have questioned why we keep these “virtual diaries”…what are we looking for? validation? like-minded people? an escape from every day life? a creative outlet? and then the question becomes…am i making my blog about me or am i conforming to what other bloggers are doing? is it my true voice? am i speaking from the heart or am i putting up a front? do people even care?
hanging out with christina this weekend helped put a lot of personal questions (about life and why i blog) in perspective, as we talked at great length about life, blogging, why we do it, blog friendships vs real life friendships, etc etc…(i’m not going to share all the details with you; however, just know that I now know why i blog, why i share with anyone who cares to listen, and what it means for ME…and that’s all that matters!)
it’s so crazy how quickly and effortlessly christina and i clicked. it’s almost as if we were meant to be friends…soulmates, even! i’m a firm believer in fate and “everything happens for a reason”, so maybe something bigger is at work here.
maybe we were best friends in another life, or sisters, or (gasp!) lovers! or on the flip side…maybe we were fierce enemies in a prior life and in this life, our lesson is to trust and respect each other. kinda fun to think about, eh?
nothing about my trip to visit christina and her family was awkward or uncomfortable. one evening, i did the dishes and cleaned up after dinner while she edited photos and her hubs sat on the couch, reading. it felt so natural…like we’d all been friends for years.
i had to ask myself…if i can connect this easily with strangers, why am i not connecting this deeply with the people who are currently in my life? is it simply that we’re not destined to have a strong bond, maybe our personalities don’t mesh deeper than birthday parties and the occasional night out, or is it me? hmmmmmm… this visit allowed me to take a good look at my “real-time” friendships. i decided that i’m ready to let go of any insecurities or grudges i’ve held over the last year or so (i’ll spare you the deets)…and move forward! enjoy those people, let my walls down! …and more importantly…to never apologize for who i am. this weekend, with christina, i was able to be myself…no drama, no judging, no false pretenses, no walls…
…i showed my true colors and i gained a good friend…someone i will be friends with for years to come.
thanks for reading!
i am wearing…
floral tank baby doll dress – thrifted
red obi belt – courtesy of christina
eagle cuff – thrifted
skinnies – local boutique
sandals – local boutique
*photos by christina*