the story.

eeeeeep!  my luvah is on his way to see me…as.i.write.this.

have i told you about him?  ahh…silly me.  i have not.

well.

back, waaaaay back when i was a junior in high school, i met MP.  and let me tell you…i was not initially impressed with this creature.  he was a year older than me, drove a corvette (what.ever.), played soccer (whoopty doo), all the girls loved him (eye roll), and overall…i think he thought he was too cool for school.  

i refused to be charmed.

until one day…

i heard he thought i was cute.  really?  corvette boy digs me??
well that certainly changed the way i looked at him.  corvette?  hot.  soccer player?  sexy.  all the girls like him?  hmmm…i’ll make him mine.

i told a friend, who told another friend, to tell MP that i’d go out with him if he asked. 

he did, we had fun, and we were damn near inseparable for almost 2 years.  like, disgusting inseparable.  holding hands in the hallways, kissing and googley eyes at our lockers..all the things that cause people to shout, “get a room!” 

so we did.

he was my first love and my first…well…you know.  he even bought me a promise ring…a promise that we both took very seriously…that we’d be together forever. 

ahhhhh, young love. 

and then i went off to college and decided that the long distance thing wasn’t working for me.  so, we broke up.  truth be told, as much as i loved MP, i didn’t appreciate his love.  i couldn’t fully understand (at the time) how much love and respect he had for me.  i was young.  i had nothing to compare it to.  yet.

about a year later, we had a “falling out” of sorts…tears, broken promises, broken hearts…it was sad, but we both moved on…separately.  i was living in CA and he was still in IL…he was a frat boy and i was eventually a new mommy.

we kept in touch over the years.  through email, phone calls, and the occasional meet up when i would go home to visit my family.  there were still feelings there, but what could we do?  nothing.  we were too different, living totally different lives, in completely different time zones.

several years ago, MP called.  “i’m moving to reno!”

it seemed like a no-brainer.  he’s closer, we should meet up!  we talked about it many times.  he could come visit me in california or i could fly to nevada…but it never happened.  i was in and out of relationships or we would simply lose touch.  however, i made the, “hey stranger” phone call every time i was fresh out of a relationship.  seeking what?  comfort in someone who knew me better than anyone?  the words “i still love you”?  i wasn’t ready for MP, so why did i continue to torture him with empty promises of visits and the possibility of re-visiting our love? 

simple.  it wasn’t our time.  i wasn’t ready.

i navigated myself in and out of heartbreak.  when will i find him?  the one.  where is he?

two years ago, MP fed it to me straight…”i’m in a relationship.  furthermore, the only time you call me is when you’ve just gotten out of a relationship.” 

there it was…i had been scolded.  so i stopped.  i was no longer numero uno on his list.  and as much as he still probably loved me…he had to move on.  all i did was give him false hope.  and he was over it.

fast forward to june of this year.  finally, after months of talking through email and on the phone, i head out to nevada to meet christina and her family.  she picks me up from the airport, it’s very late at night, we’ve only known each other, “irl”, for 15 minutes…

i turn to her and say…my first love lives here.  in reno.  he used to work at the atlantis.  (as it looms in the distance, against the dark sky.)  christina, i’m here to meet you, a complete stranger…but in the 5 or more years that he’s lived here, i’ve never been out to see him.  isn’t that odd? 

we both fall utterly silent, i think i heard a bug scream as it hit her windshield…and then the moment passes and we go on with our weekend.  i go on with my life.  i didn’t even give it a second thought, nor did i bring it up again. 

now it’s july…i’m in IL visiting my mom.  not even 24 hours into my trip, she says…

“have you talked to MP?  i’ve always really liked him for you.  i wonder what he’s up to these days?  you should call him.”

my reply:  mom, i don’t have his number or his email address.  i don’t even know what i’d say to him.  we haven’t spoken in two years.  besides, WrW and i just broke up…what will MP think??  i can’t.  it’s just not a good idea. 

but for hours after, i can’t stop thinking about MP.  especially since i’m home…there are memories all around me…thoughts of special moments, places we used to hang out, laughs we shared…it’s all rushing back.

i give in.  i contact a friend of MP’s sister, via facebook.  i explain to her that i’m trying to get in touch with him…could she get a message to his sister? 

within the day, MP has contacted me.

over the next several days, we chit chat…i’m single, he’s single…he professes that he’s still in love with me, that no one has ever or will ever compare to me, that he’d given up hope in the love department…and now that he has me back in his life…he will never let me go.

i am floored and overwhelmed.  but it makes sense and it feels right. 

or does it?

“we have to meet”, he says.  “we have to see if the feelings are still there.” 

so, i fly out to see him.  and those old feelings…are still there.  only now we’re older, wiser…we’ve lived more life.  we can appreciate each other in a different way.  no longer horny teenagers, dry-humping on the couch…we’re adults now.  and we’re privy to what we want and what we don’t want.  it’s not simply lust that drives our [potential] love.  it’s realizing that we want the same things.  and the sparks are gearing up for a pretty big flame. 

but wait…i just came to terms with being alone!  i’m okay with it!  i have a list a mile long of “things to do alone”…wtf is happening?!

who cares.  it’s happening.

it’s been two months since we reconnected.  we talk every day, i’ve been to reno to visit him, he’s been to visit me once and now he’s coming again! 

after all these years, my first love is back in my life.  it’s so crazy to me!  not only that, but i met christina, who lives near MP, before i even reconnected with him!  it blows my mind. 

will my first love be my last?  we shall seeeee.  but it feels good…i can 100% be myself around him.  he loves me, for me.  he laughs at me, with me…we share the same ideas about family and life.  he’s kind, genuine, willing to learn, easy to communicate with…i finally feel understood and comfortable.

as i wrap up this post, my eyes are welling with tears.  but they are tears of happiness!  so don’t get it twisted. 

i would ask that you keep your fingers crossed for us, but i don’t think it’s necessary this time. 

i know this photo is super blurry, but taylor begged me to put it in my post for today.  i mean, can you blame him?!  check out the air i’m getting! 

i’m wearing…
vintage blouse – thrifted
vintage necklace – thrifted
lace table runner, turned belt – thrifted
skirt – nordstrom
**photos by taylor**

thanks for letting me share.  i’ve been trying to put it into words for weeks.  today, finally, it came naturally. 

have a great weekend.  you know i will!

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40 thoughts on “the story.

  1. Awww, good luck! It sounds like you are one of those rare, lucky people to have had a wonderful first love (and first time!). Maybe you subconsciously knew exactly what you wanted back when you were 15! ;)
    I’m rooting for you!

  2. PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGE this is so excitinggggggggg (sorry, excitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing)!!!! I am so happy for you and I LOVED reading that story, I didn’t want it to end. (although it hasnt “ended”) You also look so damn beautiful in these pictures, you are GLOWING. I wonder why….. ;)
    so happy for you, I hope it all goes well!!! xox

  3. yayyyyy!!!! so happy for you! thanks for sharing such a personal story with us. you are such an incredible lady and you deserve every happiness. hope this is a magical weekend for you :)

  4. Wow, all I have to say is wow. That’s really amazing, I hope everything works out for the best. As I was reading this I could totally relate most everything happened the same with me, but alas, my first love lives in Brazil, don’t think either of us will be near each other again. But you know everything happens for the best and a reason. It’s so amazing to hear how your paths have crossed and made an interesting pattern.

    Love
    Lauren
    Sparrow & Urchin

  5. My Sam came into my life when I didn’t expect it or want it. I didn’t want to be in a relationship, but when I walked into that coffee shop for work that morning and this boy with sandy blond hair, pale skin, and the most BEAUTIFUL GORGEY GORGEOUS set of lips was standing there… my life was changed. I remember going home and telling my roommate that there was this cute boy working there now, and that he had really amazing looking lips. When I tell that story now, he just smiles, and I know for a fact that they are amazing!

    *and everyone who read my comment just threw up a little*

  6. Aw, Paige, that kind of melted my heart. So, so sweet. I’m in the same place in a relationship with someone from high school. That familiarity with someone who knows you now and knew you then is fantastic. It’s priceless, really. The feeling of being around that person, just in their presence, and feeling so comfortable with them. I just can’t get enough. It’s the best. I can’t believe that you guys are back together! It’s so exciting for you.
    I’m so glad I found your blog, I love reading your posts. I think we all need to grow a little on our own to appreciate what we have now. And, I think, it makes being with that person all the more better. Have a great time with MP.
    Also, my guy from high school complimented my new purse when we went out on Wednesday night. I told him that I bought it from you!

    • maggi! who is your guy??

      and i’m glad we found each other through the blog world, as well! who knew?? thanks for your kind words…i’ll be keeping you posted, of course. ;)

  7. That is some serious air you’re getting in that last photo. :)

    What a beautiful romance! Holy cow, you two could write a novel about that. I hope and pray that things work out so that you end up as happy as can be. You deserve it.

    And let’s not forget to mention the outfit! You’re so simply, delicately, positively beautiful! I love the ivory and black contrast. So stunning. You look gorgeous.

  8. PAIGE! You are such a wonderful lady and deserve this great love story! WOW…and what a story!!! I seriously have goosebumps! I don’t want to jump the gun, and obvs I don’t know you in IRL…but I am so happy for you and want you two to get married and live happily ever after! with a corvette, of course. ;)

  9. You know what I think lady. ;) I am so happy you have shared this story with everyone! Now we all can rejoice for your happiness. I hope you have a magnificent weekend my dear! And by golly you look stunning in these photos!

  10. Wow. This post made me cry. It makes me SO HAPPY!!!! Oh, I know it will last, I know! How romantic, how wonderful! After all these years! How amazing!!!!

    YEAH FOR YOU!!!!!

    sending happiness and prayers and JOY your way.

    heart: Kimberellie

    ps. beautiful outfit. And tell Taylor the jumping shot is AWESOME.

  11. ive already told you how stupidly happy i am for you.. but seeing WrW comment that he’s also genuinely happy for you? big old tears welling up in this babies. if the blessing of your ex doesn’t make this perfect, i dont know what can.

    i love you my fire crotch sister from another mister.

  12. This is so exciting!! I’m so happy for you – I hope you guys have an amazing time together.

    This is like one of those love stories that the old people tell in the middle of When Harry Met Sally…I love all those cute old couples so I mean that as a compliment.

  13. i had the biggest smile on my face while reading this story! what a testament to the journey it has been and the happy ever after! and i can’t think of another person more deserving of that happiness than you, dear! looking forward to hearing of your adventures in love! he sounds like a keeper :)
    p.s. did i mention how absolutely stunning you look in these photos? for real….STUNNING!
    xoxo

  14. amazing story! i’m so happy for you! i’m so glad to have found your blog. you are an amazing person with so much style and a wonderful sense of humor. good luck to you in all your future endeavors! i look forward to reading all about them & seeing your gorgeous outfits!

  15. this is simply amazing. what a story. I’m bursting at the seams for you!

    he’s right to say no one else compares to you… I’m most sure of it. Have a wonderful time. I can’t wait to stay tuned.

    xo
    C

    p.s. no worries about the pant-ripping. I’m sure if you promised me enough wine, I’d be fine walking around in my skivvs.

  16. I don’t usually get into people’s personal lives on blogs, but I have to admit, I MAY have read this post…twice? three times? Your happiness and humor through your journey to new-old love is such a pleasure to share. It sounds like, after a life of complications and learning, you’ve settled into someone familiar (as in intimate, not boring) and inspiring. I love that feeling. There really isn’t anything in the world to compete. I mean, people write love poetry for a REASON! And this is it.

    You look stunning in these photos. Poor MP- that sucker never had a chance of getting over you, did he? :) And that top…it’s the perfect “I’m about to get my pants (well, skirt…) romanced right off me!” piece. Love it.

  17. This is so well written. You have me cheering for you and MP, and comparing my past relationships. Considering that I have the attention span of a circus money, that is quite impressive. :)

  18. This just warms my heart so much. Isn’t it funny how love finds us when we’re not even looking? I am so ridiculously happy for you and feel so special to share this joy with you.

    Your last photo makes me say: “Yay love!” hehe And your lovely lace top is so romantic! You should be reading this in a coffee shop with a jazz bass as the soundtrack, wearing that exact outfit.

    Here’s to happy endings :)

    xo

  19. (wipes away tears) I haven’t read your blot in a while and this is news to me! The first part of your story really transported me back to HS with you and Mark, and me and whoever I was trying to date at the time (GH or ZG or DS…I was pretty boy crazy.) It’s seriously amazing that you guys are together again! I mean it MADE ME CRY! I think we all have a special place in our hearts for our first love, and the fact that you are reconnected with him is amazing. Tell him I said HEY! We should all sneak out and go to a party at Derrick’s house, I heard his parent’s are out of town! (remember?)
    XO

  20. that is such a beautiful story, i just found your blog today via b. jones style and i love your energy as well as your style and hilarious writing. congrats on your engagement, keep your fingers crossed for me as i navigate through the ‘frogs’ and find my prince!

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