spoke too soon.

remember, on monday, when i said that it was gonna be a fabulous week?  that i could feel it?

yeah, um…i was wrong.

i think monday was nice to me because it knew wednesday was about to be a bitch.

wednesday morning started out as it usually does.  i got ready for work while taylor dressed himself, brushed his teeth, and finished his wednesday chores.  at 7:15, i knew we were already running late, but i wasn’t worried because i had planned to make a stop at mickey d’s [for a few of my coworkers.]  at 7:20, i couldn’t find my car keys anywhere in the house…we looked up and down and all around…nada.  so i grabbed a spare key and we headed out.  i looked at the clock as we pulled out of the driveway.  7:29.  usually i am pulling into work by now.

i drop taylor off at school, wish him a good day, tell him i love him, and head to work.

not even a mile from his school, i’m turning left through an intersection and BAM!  another car slams into me.

the impact was so hard, my airbags deployed.  it all happened so fast and it was so surreal.  in a matter of seconds, my thoughts went from…omg, i’ve been hit!  to…i’m okay.  i have all my limbs, nothing feels broken, my face is okay, no glass has shattered, and i’m alive.  then i screamed.  it was fucking scary.  at that point, i felt that i had to get out of the car…and quickly.  what if it blew up?  i know nothing about cars, but i just wanted out.  i scrambled over the center console and pitched myself out of the passenger side.  i stood in the middle of the intersection in hysterics, shaking like a leaf.  my whole body was convulsing.   

a woman had gotten out of her car and was telling me that she called 911, that help was coming.  all of a sudden, several people were surrounding me, offering soothing words and accident related advice.  “are you okay?”  “honey, you need to sit down.”  “this was not your fault, i saw the whole thing.  that kid was driving too fast and recklessly.”  “if anyone asks, you are not okay…don’t tell them that you’re okay!”

at that moment, i tuned everyone out.  i was sitting in my passenger seat, looking around.  the radio was still on.  bon jovi was belting out the words, “it’s my life, it’s now or never.  i ain’t gonna live forever…”  really!?  ironic?  i turned it off.  then i realized that both of my arms were burning, like i had burnt myself with a curling iron, only worse.  i looked down and saw little cuts and bright red burns on my hands and arms.  i was still crying, but less hysterical.

the emts showed up and started asking questions.  a fire truck and several cop cars showed up to make reports and take statements.  there was a lot going on.  the emt walked me to the curb very slowly.  he sat me down and began to ask questions, take my blood pressure, etc. 

i gotta tell ya…the emt was adorable.  young, but adorable.  at one point, as he was asking questions, he got a little too close to my face.  i thought to myself, geez…what if my breath stinks? 

…i just got in a pretty scary accident and i’m worried about my breath…typical me.

the rest of the day went by pretty slowly.  i was in the hospital most of the am…xrays, getting checked out and what not.  once i was released, i headed home and spent the day and evening on the couch.

my dad and stepmom came up to help, as i had a splint on my right hand and was rendered pretty useless.  the er doctor refered me to an orthopedic surgeon to get a second opinion.  yesterday, he told me that i had no fractures, just muscle damage and bruising. 

my neck and back have been pretty sore, but other than that, i’m recovering just fine.

i am beyond thankful and fortunate to have so many loving and caring people in my life.  several coworkers offered to bring food, to pick me up, etc…friends sent get well emails and texts…i feel so incredibly loved.

but of course i thought about the what if’s and the why’s…

what if i hadn’t been late?  why did this happen to me?  is there a reason?  is the reason for me or for someone else?  maybe i’ll never know or maybe it’ll all make sense at a later time.  and thank god taylor wasn’t in the car.  thank god for that. 

  my stepmom mentioned that maybe i need to slow down.  i’m always here there and everywhere.  work, taylor, errands, the shop, the blog, etc.  we’re all busy, i know that.  but maybe i need to decide what’s important to ME and focus on those things.  or maybe i was just due for an accident.  maybe there’s nothing else to it than bad luck and bad timing.  maybe i was too cocky about monday being great and my week being awesome so the universe had to knock me down a few pegs.

any way you put it, i’m okay.  that’s all that matters.

my car on the other hand…

i don’t know that i’ll be blogging/commenting much in the coming days…please know that i still read your posts and think you’re all great.

have a safe weekend.

xo, paige

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26 thoughts on “spoke too soon.

  1. Oh my god, how scary! I’ve been in one car accident before and it scared the sh*t out of me. I actually don’t remember the 10 seconds before the crash happened, I guess my mind just blocked it out.

    Take care of yourself lady!

    Laura

  2. Paige,

    Big hugs. This gave me a pit in my stomach though. I am so glad you are okay and that GOOD LORD that Taylor wasn’t in the car with you… Enjoy the time, relax, and be thankful that you are okay.

  3. oh, paige! i’m just sick. really. like i’m all teary and my stomach is just in knots! so sorry that happened to you. i wish i could be around to help out and bring you food and clean your house. i really hope your arm gets better quickly and you feel safe again. and you’re right, thank God that taylor wasn’t with you and that it wasn’t worse. get better friend!!!!!

  4. Thank God you are alright!! How unbelievably scary and that really sucks. Take the time to take care of yourself and know that we’ll wait till you feel ready to get back to blogging!

  5. good gracious, paige! i had to go back and read this twice b/c the first time i was scanning for the words, “i’m okay…” sounds like an awful scare and i am so very sorry you had to endure it. i often wonder the same thing when i am running late or some change in my plans occur..”what am i avoiding? maybe a wreck?” “possibly an unfortunate event?”
    so glad you walked away from such a situation and have a new perspective [and all your limbs!!!]
    get some rest!!!!
    xoxo

  6. OH PAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jesus christ, my friend. That is absolutely awful. I am so sorry you had to go through that, but it does sound as though you have found your silver lining.

    I will keep you in my thoughts, darling. Be well.

    .Haiku

  7. I am sorry to hear about that paige. I am so glad though that you are ok. Car accidents are always so scary even if they are minor, but thank god no one was seriously hurt.

    Rest up and feel better!!!

  8. Oh sweetie…I’m am so sorry! I’m glad to hear that you are ok and that Taylor wasn’t in the car.

    Take some time rest up and heal. Know that you are in my thoughts.

  9. paige! my dear! how horrible and terrifying!!!! i’m with amanda – i wish we were closer and could do more to help! i’ve only been in one accident where i was slightly hurt – and that shook me to the core. so sorry you have to deal with this. besides being scary, accidents are a pain in the ass! insurance, mechanics, etc. you’re in my thoughts! wishing you a speedy recovery and a relaxing weekend.

    xoxoxo

  10. Paige! I’m so happy that you’re okay and I’m so sorry that this happened to you… I don’t think it’s because “you need to slow down” or something, apparently it’s not your fault. I hope you feel much better and can get over it quickly, I’m also glad that you have many friends and family around. I’m thankful for that… Love you dear…

  11. p!!!!

    you are in my thoughts + prayers. i agree w/ your stepmom to think about slowing down…its so hard, being a working mom, but we need our rest/relaxation/wine. i am seriously thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.

    love,
    p

  12. Oh Paige! I’m so sorry to hear this, but incredibly glad that you’re OK! I don’t blame you at all for being scared. I’m quite accident prone in my car (never my fault…), and in turn I’ve become quite a nervous driver. I’ll be thinking about you. Hope your achiness goes away and your hand starts to feel better pronto! And you’re a rockstar for still posting!! Enjoy the weekend with MP too!!

  13. Jeepers Paige! How scary :( but thankfully you are okay.

    Gawd. My mind is absolutely reeling and there are a million things I could type but I think they are not necessary.

    I’m just really glad you will be fine and that Taylor was not involved.

  14. Omg! I have been following your blog for awhile and never commented. I seriously hope you are okay!
    I was in a car accident two months ago. (the second one this year, not my fault) The other car t-boned me and caused my car to spin out. I was holding onto the steering wheel so tightly at impact the force of the crash caused all the muscles in my neck, shoulder and upper ribs to tear.
    Report your injuries and seek out physical therapy! I’ve had PT and it’s helped immensely.
    I also went through questioning why?? And trying to seek out some message from god or something. After struggling with it for awhile, I finally realized, hey, it’s going to be okay. I also decided that I need to listen to my instincts more and not push those inckling feelings away to please other people.
    Anyways, insurance is a bitch to deal with, you’ll get through it!!!

    • hi kirsten! i know it’s taken awhile, but i wanted to say thank you for taking the time to comment and send well wishes…i really appreciate it. :) i’ve recovered just fine…but yeah, it was scary! anyway, don’t be a stranger, stop by and say hello anytime! (and thank you for being a follower/reader.)

  15. Hope you’re feeling better after this terrible accident.what a shock,i hope you’ll recover soon and forget this very bad moment.
    take care, wendy

  16. Wow, scary stuff!! So glad you are okay, m’dear… I can’t imagine how scary that must have been, and the kinds of thoughts it would bring up, but hopefully you’ll heal quickly (both in terms of physical healing & emotional… don’t forget to take care of head & heart!) You poor girl! Rest up!

  17. Oh, Paige! Thank goodness you’re okay and weren’t seriously damaged. And thank goodness you’re the kind of woman who comes out of a scary experience considering the content and values of her life, instead of someone who cries, “Why me?!” and takes makes a bad experience worse. I’m so impressed w your sense of humor and toughness (in general, but especially now).

    Take care, heal quickly, and know those of us who read all your hilarious posts are wishing you the best of things.

  18. So sorry that you were involved in an accident! I can really relate as I was also involved in one in March this year. It really is a scary thing and can affect you emotionally in a bad way.

    I’m glad you are okay, I wasn’t hurt either. But that neck and back pain is not fun.

    Keep well Paige, I know that being in an accident can give one perspective which it gave me. At least we come out with that.

  19. Oh my gosh! I’m so glad you’re OK! That is so scary and I hate that it happened. Get well soon and remember to take care of yourself until you are better!

  20. Ahhhh Paige! I’m so glad you’re ok! I get shooken up on “close calls” I can’t imagine being in an actual accident. and am so thankful you are OK compared to how your car looks! Yes, it’s good to “slow down” in life, but the accident wasn’t your fault! and sometimes, we are late.
    and the what if’s aren’t necessary at this point because everything will be alright, and you will too!

    Much love and hugs.

  21. I haven’t been to blog-o-land for quite a while and upon my return today, I read this. I am so sorry about your accident and very glad that you are okay. You’ve been incredibly brave to always share your life so candidly, this was no exception. As bloggers, we always try to present our lives as such lovely, bow-tied dreams (well, not always but you know what I mean), this post was so real and reminded me of why I love reading your and others blogs – because you are real people somewhere out there that are brave enough to put their life and style on display for the rest of the world. I hope you recover well and quickly. Thank you!

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