ow. that hurt.

10 years ago today, i gave birth to a 7 lb, 6 oz, 21 in boy.  around 7pm, i believe…

he wasn’t very cute when he came out.  in fact, he was beet red and screaming at the top of his lungs.

i, on the other hand, was writhing in pain as the doctor sewed me up.  yes, i just said that.  and no, i’m not talking about a c-section.

after all that work, i was incredibly impatient.  all i wanted was my baby…

but an hour later, when the nurse brought him into my room and said, “here are some diapers, formula, and a couple of blankets.  good night!”  i looked at her like, whaaaa?!  i wanted to say, lady i just gave birth.  i’m tired and need to get some rest before motherhood starts tomorrow morning.  and then reality set in.  paige, motherhood is not a 9-5.  it’s your life.  24 hours a day.  for the rest. of. your. life.

that night, i couldn’t sleep.  i kept taylor in my arms all night long.  almost afraid to set him down.  afraid that if i inadvertently woke him…i’d have to do something…like change his diaper or feed him.  eeek!  what if i do it wrong?  what if he doesn’t stop crying?  i’m not ready!!

so i let him sleep soundly (afraid to move an inch) as i watched back to back showings of a nightmare on elm street.  how funny is that?  nothing was scary after giving childbirth.  not even old freddy.

(obviously my foundation was too dark back in 2000.)

an interesting event took place in the early morning hours before i gave birth…
we had family in town, so i ended up sleeping on the couch and taylor’s aunt slept on the floor.  we stayed up late, watching tv and chit chatting.  eventually, around midnight, we both drifted off to sleep.  suddenly, BAM! something smacked into the patio sliding door.  i was freaked out, so was she…what the eff is going on?!  i got down on the floor and very quietly and slowly, the two of us crawled on all fours over to the slider.  as i pushed the blinds to the side, i came face to face with a baby owl.  the owl stared at me, dazed, shook his little head (i kid you not!), then flew away.

rad, huh?  delivery for paige pitzer…

i have so many more photos, but decided to share only a few.  it was so fun, yet incredibly hard to look through albums and boxes full of pictures of my little baby boy.  i laughed, i cried, i miss those cheeks!  i love who he’s becoming, but i’d also love to hold his tiny little body in my arms again.  *sigh*  ahhh…i’m tearing up as i write this!  (such a freaking baby.)

my tiny little baby boy has now become a young man-[ish].
his legs are hairy, he has braces, he likes van halen, i’m not allowed to see him naked anymore, and apparently – [he told me] i worry about him too much.  that’s just it, i tell him…i will never stop worrying.

and even though i may embarrass him with public displays of affection and he claims his bff danny is funnier than i am…i don’t believe him.  i still got it.  i can still make him laugh…no!  giggle…harder than anyone.

because i have an arsenal full of adolescent boy nonsense – gross farts, burping the alphabet, silly voices, hysterical faces, and “the tickle monster”.

i’m proud of my genes.  so far, we helped make an amazing little dude who is smart, interesting, hysterical, sarcastic, caring, loving…and so much more.

happy 10th birthday to my sweet sweet boy.

mama loves.

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25 thoughts on “ow. that hurt.

  1. Tears. falling. on. keyboard. Oh goodness Paige! I think my heart just turned to hot chocolate lava cake. I so wish I could go back in time just a few days to meet this handsome 10 year old. I know, I will. Some day. Thank you so much for sharing these pictures and for the owl story! Happy birthday T.!! I hope you have so much fun at your party this weekend!

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAYLOR!!! thank you for sharing your birth story with us! sewn up? oh hell no….holy crap. im so scared to have kids!

    happy day to you, lovely mama! you deserve some love for raising such a handsome little dude!

  3. you. are. adorable.
    Can i say I just love seeing all your different hair styles! hahaha yeah i guess im missing the point huh? I loved the story too :)
    (if you don’t mind me asking) how old were you when you were pregnant? you look like a babyyyyyyyyy yourself!

  4. Happy Birthday to your son, and congratulations to mama for raising him.
    Your post made me cry (still tearing up). My little guy is 5 and I cherish every hug with him and think about the upcoming years when he will be older and not want snuggles and kisses and hand holding anymore. Growing up is much harder on the mommies than the kids. Thanks for sharing.

  5. i started to cry while reading this! this always happens when you write about your little guy. my son just turned 3 last thursday and i spent almost the entire day reminiscing and getting teary. my post-labor story sounds exactly the same, except i got stuck watching a marathon of tila tequila. it was gross.

    happy bday to you, mama! moms should get a gift on their children’s birthdays too….

    ~pemora

  6. i love that pic of you guys crying. priceless. it’s crazy how fast it goes by! sad!
    what a cute guy, though. happy bday buddy. i’ve got some tees etc for you!
    xx!

  7. i am sitting here trying desperately to keep the tears from streaming down my face (i am at the shop and the last thing i need is to have mascara globs on my cheeks). my stomach hurts to think of my little guy turning 10. 10 is so big. 10 is almost a man. so tell your almost man happy birthday. and tell him that friends will come and go but you will always be mom.

  8. Happy birthday to your ‘young man.’

    Your story is very moving and repeatedly brought my first moments of motherhood to mind.

    You are blessed to have each other.

  9. This was beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing! The black and white photo of you two when he is a little older is absolutely stunning. Congrats on making it to 10 years of being a mama and here to a lifetime of it!

  10. So sweet! My youngest turned 10 this year too…. and ever since then I’ve been reminiscing about all three of my boys and their adorable, sweet toddler ages. Those cheeks, those fingers, those toes….. but to see them growing up into the men they will soon become….. takes my breath away. Happy birthday to your little man!

  11. I am new to your blog, and loving it. Your style fashion, writing, and wit are so fun. Just wait until your boy turns 31 you will really tear up, that’s what mom’s do. Your “little man” is a doll just like his mom. Stay well. Romy

  12. My ovaries now ache and I feel way too emotional.
    My baby turned 16 in September.
    I will never stop worrying either.

    I love the pics you shared…thanks for letting us see that part of your life.

    xoxo

  13. Pingback: barefoot &… «

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