i hope your weekend treated you well.
as much as i hate (hate HATE) to admit it…the 75-80 degree weather was pleasantly awesome and fine by me. i feel that november in california is quite spectacular, actually. the sky is bluer than usual, the leaves are gorgeous in color, and although it randomly heats up, there’s still a chill in the air that makes it okay [that it’s november and too warm.] in all honesty, it was undeniably beautiful this past weekend.
jcrew matchstick cords
sandals – local boutique
headband – handmade by moi
saturday, i went shopping.
not thrift store shopping.
i went “never been worn, but not as cheap” shopping.
i felt like i was cheating on my beloved vintage/thrift, but it felt so good…
my goal was to buy a couple new pairs of pants (never been worn, modern styles). because it seems as though my once 24/25 waistline is now a 26/27.
i’m not complaining! it’s just…i think i’m settling into my body and this is the size i am naturally supposed to be. i’m okay with it. i just need new pants! to accommodate the curvy-er thighs. and the rounder ass.
because here’s what i realized this weekend…
curves are okay.
and that may sound stupid to some or most of you, but it’s a new concept to me. i’ve always been really thin and petite…boyishly at times; however, lately, i don’t want to work so hard at maintaining that. i like to work out, go for the occasional run, hike a few miles on a nice day, but really…i’m 30…i can feel my body changing. my metabolism isn’t quite the same, i have to work a tad harder to keep the chunk off the thighs and quite frankly…i don’t want to stress about my weight like i used to. up until a couple of months ago…i would freak out if my pants felt a little snug. but not anymore!
while shopping at the outlet stores on saturday, MP and i ventured into joe’s jeans. after a few minutes of searching and an armful of jeans, i was approached by a younger [than me], quite handsome man of color…
“i’ll take those and start a room for you. what type of jean are you looking for?”
me: well, i’m not sure really. i’m just looking. the thing is…i have a pretty small waist, but i also have thighs and a booty…
“niiiice.” with a smirk.
moral…learn to love your body. it’s taken awhile for me to get to this point, but i’m finally embracing my natural body form. and if my pants are getting a bit snug, i probably just need a different size. big deal! i’d rather be a size up than look like i stuffed my thighs into something too small. and as long as i continue to work out a couple of times a week and watch what i eat…i won’t end up with saddlebags big enough to put my cell phone and lip gloss in.
ps. i chose to share this “self discovery” with you because it’s a great feeling to let my ridiculous body image issues go. i realize that a waist size of 26/27 is still very small and that i’m still very petite….i’m not comparing myself to anyone else or saying that i’m fat because i’ve gone up a waist size. i’m embracing, and i think you should, too.
that being said, there’s a lot of talk in the style/fashion blogging community about body issues and insecurities…some girls feel more self-conscious because they follow bloggers who are model thin or have a perfect complexion, others worry that they don’t have as many readers because their legs are short and stubby [exaggerated example]…really?! blogging is supposed to be a personal thing, a way to voice individuality…since when did it become a place for negativity/jealousy and wanting what others have? maybe your talents lie elsewhere…in art or music or poetry…so show that! and for all you know, although that model-thin blogger looks great in a pair of leather pants, it’s possible she dropped out of junior high school, has no teeth from drinking too much soda as a kid, and doesn’t know how to spell…
my point is, you can’t get wrapped up in outside appearances.
learn to embrace your flaws. it’ll make you more beautiful.
[my two cents.]
afterthought…i realize i may sound like a freaking brat. but i’m not. i’m simply saying…we all have insecurities and issues. mine happens to be a fear of having a huge ass and thighs. i am only 5’3 and the women in my family tend to carry their weight below the waist. so when i gain a little…i freak a little.
in case you’re wondering…i bought 3 new pairs of pants this weekend. in a size larger than usual. and i’ve never felt more comfortable. *wink*