keep calm and carry on.

our move to illinois has been postponed. 

there, i said it.

i’ve known for weeks, but wasn’t sure how to talk about it, because it seriously hurts my heart.  it also makes me angry.  it’s unfortunate that there is someone in my life who just likes to make me miserable.  who likes to make things difficult for me time and time again.  there is nothing genuine in this person’s actions.  {yes, i am being vague on purpose.}  it’s out of pure…i don’t know…hatred for me?  or not wanting to see me happy?  you know what they say – misery loves company.  or maybe it’s a control issue?  i don’t know. 

long story, short – because our court date had been delayed by 30 days, mark’s “job offer” was taken off the table.  and now taylor is starting school.  we had a very small window of time to find jobs, find a place to live, etc before taylor was supposed to start school in illinois.  it just felt rushed.  it didn’t feel right.   

and as much as i want to be that person who throws caution into the wind and just…goes…i can’t.  how can we justify leaving two good jobs, great benefits and a place to live that’s affordable?  if we leave that, we can’t come back to it. 

sure, we could move – mooch off my mom and stepdad for a month or so while looking for jobs.  but what if a month turns into 4 months and we still don’t have jobs or at the very least one job?  no benefits, no income, no independence.  i have waited so long to be able to do it on my own, without the help of my parents.  my pride cannot fathom taking so many steps backwards.  it just can’t.  

so we stay in california for now…maybe longer.  {it’s sort of up in the air at this point.}  we do what we do and we try to remain positive.  we count our blessings and hope that whatever happens…is the best thing for us.  for our family.   

everything happens for a reason.

and ps.  we will not let the asshat mentioned above bring us down!


21 thoughts on “keep calm and carry on.

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your setback. I know this won’t help and it’s cliche but everything does happen for a reason. Maybe Mark will find an even better job that fits him better. I understand how you want to move to be closer to family, it’s tough. I hope the family gets to IL real soon.

  2. As someone who has been in a similar situation I think I can read between the lines. I’m so sorry that someone is making the move so difficult for you. I went through the whole court thing too when I tried to move from CA to IL. Not fun and very expensive. It did work out and I was able to move, but it took three years of court battles. Again, I’m so sorry you have to be going through this. :( Get all of your ducks in a row, have a plan in place for visitation, and breathe. Again, so sorry!

    • 3 years?! oh my. the good news out of all of this, is that the judge granted us the moveaway! that was the easy part. the timing…not so much.

  3. I am going to go ahead and assume that this has something to do with Taylor’s father? I hope I’m not being too forward by doing so but when I read this, I felt like I could have written it two years ago when we were planning out move from Texas to Pennsylvania. Its rough. Moving is rough, period. Especially when their are kids involved. It is hard enough to know if you’re doing the right things without someone trying to make you feel poorly about your choices. Again, I might be way off track here but I’d be willing to bet that I’m. If you ever wanna vent, feel free to shoot me an email because it amazes me how similar our life situations have been (I remember reading how you got back together with Mark and thinking OMG that is pretty much exactly what happened with me and my husband!). I hope things work out for you and try to keep your chin up.

    • thanks desiree – i may take you up on that venting offer. ;) until then, yes…it’s a difficult decision to make. especially because pretty soon, we just cannot uproot taylor and move him. he’s in 7th grade now. if we don’t do it by next summer, we’ll just have to wait until he’s done with hs. zoey will only be 6 or 7 and moving her won’t be a big deal. we shall see. as i said in the poar…just trying to stay positive!

  4. Paige, I’m so sorry:( having been in a situation where you have to deal with asshats but at the same time be the mature and responsible one sucks ass in a big way. Your love and concern for your children and husband is obvious. And while it stinks, I have faith that when everything comes into focus, it will make the move that much sweeter(particularly as you ride off leaving the aforementioned dbag in the rear view!)

  5. so sorry to hear about your change of plans….i know it’s a hard balance of wanting to just pack up and go and take a chance and the fact that you are financially independent and have a family to fend for. i admire you for sticking it out even though it’s the harder of the two decisions. i know what it’s like to have a small window of time and then it slips away. but you have to trust that it will work out all in due time! :) i was really looking forward to you being a couple states closer to me! :)

  6. On September 8th my baby turns 18 and I can tell the asshat in my life to go suck it.
    That day will come for you too…..and boy,won’t it be sweet????

  7. hahah!!!! i love kim’s revenge idea!

    as a child of divorced parents, i have seen and experienced some of this. it plain, flat out SUCKS. of course i am selfishly sad your move isn’t immediate ;) but you gotta take care of yourself and your beautiful family! xoxo

    • haha…i know, right?
      thanks for the kind words, lisa. :) i want to be fair to taylor. although i truly believe a move is the best thing for our family, i know it’ll be hard on taylor if we don’t move soon. if we can’t make it happen by next summer…it’s probably a no-go until he’s out of hs. :(

  8. What a bummer. It’s good that you are listening to your gut and doing what feels right. It will all work out in the end…maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Good luck!

  9. oh man i’m so bummed i was looking forward to seeing you and that adorable baby girl of yours the next time i was in IL visiting family! it’s ok though i understand there is other “circumstances” that take place in life and we can’t help it. i wish you much happiness and love. You’ll always be my bestest redheaded friend not matter where you are!


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