currently // january

everyone else

loving :: myself.  i’ve spent many years feeling insecure, comparing myself to others, worrying too much about what people think… i don’t know if it’s age or experience or what, but i feel strong inside.  i feel really good about who i am and what i stand for.  it’s a triumph, really.  this newfound inner peace is invigorating and inspiring.  and while i’m not perfect, i like me. 

reading :: magazines – nylon, marie claire, glamour – piles of them all over the house.  every year i order two or three from a fundraiser through my son’s school.  and every year i can’t keep up as they continue to roll in.  so if you see me wearing something that was so last november …you’ll know that i probably just finished flipping through an old issue of marie claire. 

watching :: we’ve been dorking out lately – the science channel is on in our home almost as much as bravo.  how it’s made, dark matters, survivorman… but our favorite – idiot abroad.  we caught a marathon last weekend and now we’re hooked.  i love karl.  love him.  the 3rd and final season just started. 

thinking about :: my blog.  more specifically, figuring out what it means to me and what i want to convey to my readers {or anyone on the planet who stumbles upon it.}  originally, i started this blog as a way to “advertise” my vintage shop on etsy.  it wasn’t long before i made friends and found myself in the thick of “fashion blogging” – it was weird taking photos of myself, but it was fun and allowed me to be creative with my clothing/love of fashion.  at that time, i was able to post nearly every day.  i had readers!  i had fans!  i was writing.  but then i started reading things like – to have a successful blog you must do “this, this, or this.”  i got caught up in the numbers and i started comparing my blog to the bigger blogs.  because of those insecurites, i found myself being catty and judge-y and that toxic combo sucked the fun right out of something i once enjoyed doing.  eventually, i quit.  but i kinda missed it, so i came back.  but it wasn’t the same…it was like starting over.  the frustration of trying to find where i fit in was making me wishy-washy – do i or don’t i?  why am i doing this?  does anyone care?  what do i have to offer?  once again, i was frustrated.  several months ago, i had a heart to heart with a fellow blogger/friend.  we talked about the pros and cons and i soaked up her advice like a sponge.  i thought about it for weeks and decided…it’s time to shit or get off the pot.  yes, i know…very wise words, indeed.  so i dropped a deuce in the think tank:  started planning a redesign {which hasn’t happened yet, despite the recent small changes i’ve made}, i’m researching how to offer sponsorships and ad space, i began networking with bloggers that i have more in common with, and made a list of the things that inspire me most, things that will make this blog more about me, not about what a blog is supposed to be.  i feel good about it.  i no longer stress over the small details.  i share the things i love, when i have time.  i like my blog.  i like the community and the friends i’ve made.  it allows me to be more creative…and if i inspire a few people in the process, great! 
***long story, short – i liked blogging, i loved blogging, i hated blogging, i quit blogging, i started blogging, i wanted to quit blogging, but here i am…blogging.  the end. 

anticipating :: a two night stay in one of these, at this placeso. freaking. pumped.  this was a christmas gift to both of us from my dad and stepmom.  mark and i celebrate our birthdays next month, so it might be the perfect excuse for a weekend getaway up the coast. 

listening to :: everything.  recently downloaded:  i knew you were trouble {taylor swift}, thrift shop {macklemore & ryan lewis}, closer {tegan and sara}, not over you {gavin degraw}

working on :: drinking less coffee and more green tea.  my love of the bean is insane, but green tea is healthier. 

wishing for :: the perfect pair of boyfriend jeans.  where can i get a pair without breaking the bank?!

ps.  this post was inspired by kelly of our lovely lives.

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9 thoughts on “currently // january

  1. yay!!! “so i dropped a deuce in the think tank” LOVE IT!
    I’m happy you’re finding a comfortable place in blogging… its an ongoing struggle for all of us! You just gotta figure out what makes you happy and do it. and be conscious of what is making you unhappy so that you can avoid it or work around it. Can’t wait to see what’s next. Let me know if you need any help ;)

  2. I’m so with you! (Parallel lives, remember? ;)
    I’d been feeling like my blog “name” and the whole point of my blog wasn’t the point of why I am still lurking around here.
    Change is good and I will be along for whatever ride you want to take us on!

  3. first off, I am so jealous about your stay at Treebones!!!! I hope you share your time there with us. :) I’ve always wanted to stay there. I missed a real opportunity, because the first year they opened they were very inexpensive but then they caught on and raised their prices out of my budget. Enjoy your stay and if you happen to stop in San Luis Obispo on your way there or back, hit me up, maybe we can arrange a little “birthday- free to you’ haircut. :)

    second, I understand your blogging situation! I’m in a similar boat- does anyone really read it? What do I want to make of it? When do I open it to sponsors- all that stuff!! I can honestly say I look forward to your posts and the little peeks we get into your life! Keep it up and I’ll still be reading, whichever road you take!

  4. Lovely post! I think we’ve been sharing brain space! I am in the midst of a “why am I doing this?” crisis myself and haven’t written anything in a month. Comparisons kill creativity – end of story. I love your attitude, lady! You’ve inspired me to get blogging again. :)

  5. Paige, so much to say about this post… i think that finally being comfortable and loving yourself totally comes with time/age. i know for me, age has only made me shed my insecurities and made me feel more comfortable with who i am and do.
    as far as your blog is concerned, i think it has a lot to do with the above. you have finally grown into someone who you fully accept and therefore your blog, the representation of you is changing too. i look forward to the changes but just know that from the moment i found your blog, i have enjoyed it.
    i cannot believe you are going to stay in a yurt. just the other night i was looking into potential teepees or yurts for the backyard… daydreaming obvs. but can’t wait to see pics of your awesome future adventure.
    and finally, boyfriend jeans…. i have no idea. i take my husband’s old ones. they are big but they are cheap ;)

  6. I agree with much of what you said about blogging… funny how it messes with your mind;) But mostly, I love your line about dropping a deuce on the think tank. This is why we love you!

  7. These are such nice reminders. It’s so important to love ourselves, but it’s also so easy for the ego to rear its ugly head and allow us to compare ourselves to others – which is really silly since no one’s life experience is the same. I’m happy that you are comfortable with who you are and hope that you continue to love yourself more & more everyday. :)

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