last night

last night, all i wanted to do was have a couple of margaritas and relax on the couch with mark.  i put zoey down for bed and crept quietly away from her door, strategically stepping over the creaky spots in the carpet.  i knew she wasn’t asleep yet, but i had high hopes that she would get comfy and drift off quickly.  i breathed a sigh of relief as i made my way down stairs, grabbed a plate of food and joined mark in the living room to catch up on our shows.  let the weekend begin!  however, within a few minutes, zoey was whimpering and squealing, no doubt chatting with her animal friends.  we tried to ignore it, thinking that she was just getting situated, but then she started calling out our names.  ugh…heart melt.  maybe she needs a diaper change?  so mark headed upstairs to take care of business.  i listened intently as they chatted a bit and soon, all i could hear was the rhythmic creaking of the floor as mark rocked her back and forth and eventually, to sleep.  another sigh of relief.  nope.  as he attempted to leave the room, she woke up, crying even harder this time.  mark came downstairs, defeated.  what in the world does she want?!  slightly irritated {and selfishly wanting to be done with all things kid-related for the night} i trudged up the stairs.  she was standing up in her crib, tears streaming down her face.  i picked her up and held her, patting her back and trying to calm her down.  within seconds she was passed out on my shoulder.  i held my breath and gently laid her in the crib…as soon as her head hit the mattress, she woke up crying.  grrrrrr…what is up with this chick?  my impatience was growing.  i picked her up and she clung to me like a little monkey.  so tightly.  legs and arms wrapped around and holding on for dear life.  instantly, all of my frustration melted away.  i stopped for a second and thought…maybe she just wants to be held.  maybe she needs to feel close to someone.  she’s a baby, but she’s human.  we all have bad days, we all need to be hugged and loved more on some days than others.  hell, i had had a less than stellar week and needed a little love, too.  so we swayed, mother and daughter, cheek to cheek, feeling the most comforting love on the planet.  however, she was still a bit squirmy…sleepy indeed, but not quite comfortable.  like most moms, i ran the gamut of possible problems:  diaper?  clean.  teething?  no.  stuffy nose?  nah.  still hungry?  nope.  and then it dawned on me:  she’s wearing a loose t-shirt instead of the usual tighter fitting jammy set!  so i changed her shirt and crossed my fingers.  again, she fell asleep on my shoulder.  not long after, she lifted her head and sleepily motioned to her bed.  success!  i put her down, covered her up and snuck out of her room.  …all that time i was assuming she needed a little love and maybe she did {!}, but it seems to me like she just didn’t like the shirt she was wearing!  it made me laugh because my dad tells me that from a very young age, i was especially particular about my socks.  still am!  i never sleep in them and i can’t stand it if they don’t line up properly on the heel or toes.  taylor is the same way.  anyway, even though it was a very small problem to solve, i solved it.  i made her happy and comfortable and of all the things that i can’t figure out as a parent, it’s these little moments that make me feel like a good mommy.

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